Nip / Tuck

Before you leap to conclusions that I went out and got a boob job, think again. It was just my belly button! I have had umbilical hernia forever and after 4 pregnancies, it just got worse. I even named it my "done button". It would pop out after a full meal. The doctor asked me if I was sure I wanted to get it fixed. Not everyone is blessed with a "done button". But I was sure it was time and ready to get it over with.

Repair of umbilical hernia is serious stuff. I didn't realize it. I thought they would just numb up my belly and put in a few stitches. But after my pre-op last Thursday, and after they told me to bring in my living will, I realized how serious it really was. I would have to go under general anesthesia to get this baby fixed.

So last Friday, Joel drove me to the hospital for the in-out surgery. Ha ha! "In - Out!" That's funny. They told me to be there at 8:30. And I was. They didn't see me until 9:30. Oh well.

They got all my vitals and sent me to the back. It's a huge room with rolling beds, curtains, and lots of needles. I got into my hospital gown and crawled into my roll away bed.

That's when I noticed HIM. The eighteen year old in scrubs. He kept hanging around my curtains. The nurse came over to check me and get me ready for the I.V.. Do you know how much I hate needles. I HATE them. H.A.T.E. Then she turned to HIM (the 18 yr old) and asked, "Do you want to try it?"

Wait a minute? Did she say TRY?

His reponse, "I think so."

Did he just say, "I think so?"

I spoke up and told him he better sound a bit more confident before he tries to stick a big fat needle in my arm!

The nurse assured me he knew what he was doing and she walked off. Leaving me alone....with HIM.

He grabbed the I.V. things that were in individually wrapped packages and placed them on my bed. There were about 3 or 4 of them. One of them was a needle!!! He stood there and looked at them for a second, then looked at the I.V. drip, then he seemed to randomly pick one of the packages. He opened it, and to my relief it was the alcohol wipe to clean off my arm with. I swear he cleaned my arm for5 minutes. I must have been really dirty.

Then it was time for the needle. I heard the nurse that was caring for the patient next to me tell him she was going to use numbing cream before she stuck him with a needle. I asked my dude (I don't think he was a nurse yet) if he was going to use that on me. He just grinned.

I didn't look. I knew it was coming. I grabbed on to the metal on my rolling bed and held on tight as I felt a big sting and pushing on my left forearm. It HURT!!! Then.....THEN....he says, "Oh shoot, I think I missed it!" I turned quickly to check to see if he was serious and saw the needle in my skin dangling toward the floor. Then he says, "Maybe I got it."

Joel, at this point, is just as terrified as I am. He is pacing behind the dude and has his hand on his forehead.

The dude then looks at the needle in my arm and then to the I.V. bag. Back to the needle. Then back to the bag. Then he says," I forgot the next step!"

"What?!!!" I finally speak up. "I think you better go get some help!"

"OK! Don't. Move!" And he runs off to get a nurse.

Why she wasn't there during the whole process I don't know, but she checked his work and I guess he did it all right. But he scared me to death!

I told him that next time he has a patient he better be more confident in what he was doing.

All in all, the surgery went well. I can promise you that I will NOT be getting any elective surgeries done....EVER. I was so soar!!! Still am a little, but I have been feeling a little better everyday. The hardest part is not being able to carry Ellen. She doesn't like that too much either.